"Bottle Of Wine" , The Kingston Trio and others (Tom Paxton)

Bottle of wine, fruit of the vine, when you gonna let me get sober. Let me alone. Let me go home. Let
me go back and start over.  Well, I've rambled around this dirty old town singing for nickels and dimes.  
Times getting' rough. I can't get enough to buy me a little bottle of wine.

Well, little hotel, older than hell, cold as the dark in the mine.  Light so dim, I had to grin, I got me a
little bottle of wine.  Well, the preacher will preach and the teacher will teach. The miner will dig in the
mine.  I ride the rods, trusting in God, huggin' my little bottle of wine.

Well, pain in my head, bugs in my bed, pants so old that they shine.  Out on the street, I tell the people I
meet to buy me a little bottle of wine.  Bottle of wine, fruit of the vine, when you gonna let me get sober.
What’s the word?


Who drinks the most?


Well you are going to have to fill in that blank, after all the last thing I need is to have a certain
somebody point out in a deposition that I am bias towards certain groups of people although I may be
one of their numbers.
Maybe I should have referenced Ripple, or the more classy if not more infamous Night Train Express,
aka Night Train, aka NT.

The reality is that I really do not know much about wines or the art of fine wine drinking.  I do recall
back some forty plus years ago knocking on the door at three in the morning of an east side bootlegger,
as they were known in those days, and buying a bottle of Tbird, NT or Ripple for three times the price I
could have bought it earlier at a liquor store.

Oh well when your pretty well steezed (loaded) after midterms or finals, or the late night shift at WE a
few extra buck for more booze was well worth it.  The exception for this pleasurable feeling was the
hangover the next morning.

My wine drinking days had long passed when I contemplated the thought of having a taste of the fruit of
the vine just for old times’ sake.  The problem I now face or so I think is that I am much more refined
today than I was in the barrio back some forty or fifty years ago.  I now needed some sound advice on
picking a choice bottle of wine.  

What really prompted me to take this venture into sophisticated arena of drinking the nectar of the gods
was a comments by Dr. John Torrez a commentator on a local news network.

Dr. John noted in his report that red wine was beneficial to mental development and was beneficial to
the brain.  I must admit if anyone need help in the brain depart I must confess it is your truly.  I need all
the help I can get.

I than consulted with a dear friend more knowledgeable on the subject of wine than myself on a
suggestion for a good sweet red wine.  I received the suggestion that a Port was great, sweet and Tawny
Port was a favorite.  So I was off and running to follow this excellent advice and another sub-chapter of
Just Larry.

I dropped by a local liquor establishment, not just a liquor store but an establishment.  I inquired where
I could locate the wine that was suggested to me and eventually purchased a bottle of Taylor Tawny
Port.  Incidentally the price was not too much different from what I use to pay the bootlegger for my
Tbird many years ago.

Now the fun begins.

I was determined to delve into this adventure with wine in a proper and dignified manner.  First I
purchased a goblet, crystal of course, after all you cannot drink good wine from the bottle or out of a
paper cup.

Being the analytical individual that I am I first had to test Dr. John’s premise that red wine is good for
the brain, and again I reaffirm that I need all the help I can get in the brain development department.  

I went online and found an IQ test to first establish a baseline for my current intelligence.  I happen to
be driven by data and must set a foundation for this experiment in my present mental state.  I took the
test and actually did pretty good, I should not be surprised after all I am an elected official.  Although
this thought crossed my mind.

Maybe with all the mess we have in our national government this was perhaps not a good comparison.

I now have my baseline and it’s time for the wine factor, the good wine factor.  With my goblet before
me I proceeded to open my bottle of fine Port but ran into my first surprise, no cork!  It was a standard
twist off cap.  How was I going to determine the quality of this nectar of the gods if I could not inhale
the aroma off of the cork?  Was this not the way James Bond did it in a number of his movies, ops no,
his beverage of choice was a martini, dry and not shaken.

Well let me forgo the cork thing and move into the next step of determining the quality of the wine I had
purchased, the taste test.  I poured a small portion of the Tawny Port into my goblet and allowed it to
settle than I slowly move the goblet around much in the same manner I had seen on many a Hollywood
film.  I drew the goblet slowly towards my lips, took a small sip and swished it around my mouth
allowing the pallet within my mouth to absorb the uniqueness of this experience.

I than expelled the wine from my mouth and proceeded to cleansed my pallets as I had seen many a time
on television, however I ran into another problem I did not have any bread for the cleansing of my taste
buds so I improvised and used a tortilla.

I continue this same process several time hoping the taste of the wine would improve, but to no avail.  
So I just pour this fine Port into my goblet and consumed it much in the same fashion I would have the
Ripple, except I kept my pinkie finger pointing outward, after all I was in a different wine league now.

Slowly the bottle of wine, which incidentally unlike a bottle of Tbird was not a see through bottle was
empty and the time had arrived for the next step of my analytical, data driven, analysis of Dr. John’s
conclusion of red wine and brain progression.

I commenced to retake the IQ test I had taken prior to the bottle of Port and awaited for the before the
wine and after the fine wine results.

Guess what people, one bottle of Taylor Tawny Port red wine and I was rated a genius according to this
internet test, and we all know the internet does not lie.  I did however have this fuzzy feeling in my head,
no different from that after a bottle of Ripple.

Wow, I wondered how would I feel in the morning after this bottle of  wine?   Is this cool or not?

Bottle of wine, fruit of the vine, when you gonna let me get sober. Let me alone. Let me go home. Let
me go back and start over.

LOL :>)